Big Choices, blog, Separation

Which page are we on?

This is a post that I found in my Drafts section.  I often jot down post ideas there to come back to when I have more information or a better plan on how I want a post to come together.  This one was particularly interesting because of it’s timing.  I’ll elaborate on this at the end, but for now he’s what I wrote:

“What do you do when you’re not on the same page as your partner?  Or, what seems like, you’re not even on the same book?

I’m definitely there.  We are definitely there.

It’s been several months now since my partner sat me down in front of a beautiful roaring fire on the day of our 14th anniversary to tell me that our relationship wasn’t working at all.  I stared at him dumbfounded.

Things were not the same, sure.  Having kids had put a strain on us, yes.  But things were actually improving lately as our youngest was almost 2 and we were emerging from the baby fog.  Or so I thought.

Well he didn’t agree.  And there you have it.  We’re not on the same page and I don’t think we even know what language each other’s page is written in.  He keep revisiting this topic of “everything is the worst” and I keep trying to convince him that “we’re on par with other couples who are at this point in their family and life is getting back to a new normal”.  And neither one of us believes the other.

I suggest we spend time together, go on some dates to reconnect.  He responds with, it’s too late for dates.  After, what I perceive as a pretty good few days, he turns to me angrily and spits out “I think we should go to counselling”, and I say “Yes”.  Nothing happens and we continue to keep living in, what seems like, alternate universes.”

That’s where my draft ends.   It ends there and is saved on a Friday.  I go away with my sister for the weekend with the kids, and when I come back on the Tuesday I ask my partner to leave.

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